Goodbye 2011!

As I lay here in bed for the second night in a row not being able to sleep I have been thinking of the past year. The lessons learned, experiences and opportunities had, and the changes that have come.

You know that old saying "one lie turns into another"?

Well that saying held true for me with doctors this past year. One doctor led to another doctor which led to another... You get the point. I don't know that I've ever seen as many doctors as I did last year. I saw 6 new doctors about my shoulder. Had something stuck in my foot so I met yet another doctor. And lastly we finally decided I was ready for sinus surgery. You may wonder how this has anything to do with anything... But it does I promise. I had to grow up a lot in my medical awareness. I got my first solo shot, I learned how to fill in the paperwork (that may seem childish, but keep in mind that my mom works in the clinic so generally it is done for me before I even show up), I had to figure my schedule even more precisely than usual to accommodate appointments and travel time, I got really good at driving in Salt Lake county (which is so so so much easier than Utah county!), and I got to meet a few amazing people during physical therapy at TOSH.

Everything happen for a reason.

This has always been something that I firmly believe in and just trust when things come up or don't go as planned. When I transferred schools I learned that I would be adding one more semester onto my graduation plans. I was upset at this for my whole first semester as I took a very light schedule filled with 3 pre requisites and 2 pe classes so that I would still receive financial aid. The semester almost felt monotonous. When it finally came time that I could apply for the program I was just praying that I would get I. So that I wouldn't need to prolong graduation even longer. I got in and it is so obvious now why I had to wait. Things have fallen smoothly into place. My cohort is amazing! I have 24 automatic friends that I spend every class hour with. Because of them, I have learned so much about myself in regards to my future teaching career. Before the semester ended there were a few conversations about how sad it is that we only have a few more months together and then we may never see each other again. But even if that ends up being our "fate" then I am grateful that I got to know them and that they were a part of my life.

Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.

Once college comes, it is hard to stay in touch with old friends. Everyone who was always by my side has now been scattered across the state at different universities and colleges (one even as far as Oklahoma). If they aren't there, they are serving our lord all around the world. Some get married, many change and do not seem at all like the people you once knew, and then there are always the ones that stick by you through the thick and thin even if from a distance. Two of my good friends (that graduated with me) are married, one has applied to law schools all over the east coast, four others are trudging through classes and living it up like no other. Two previous roommates are planning weddings, one is in the navy, another travelled to Spain to study abroad, three more moved back home after learning English, one recently decided to prepare to serve a mission. Time flies, people change, but if we say "see you later" rather than "goodbye", memories, lessons, laughter, and friendship can and will still make it through! Many times I feel down, frustrated even that I don't see my friends or talk to them as often as I'd like. But then through all the chaos, we get together, we send a message on facebook, I get a phone call or a text, and I know that they are still there. We can still talk for hours and not miss a beat just as we did when we spent every day with one another.

It is now 2:07 and I'm feeling slightly more tired. I'm retiring my iPod for now, but I will resume when I wake up... If I can fall to sleep :)

It is ok to take a break.

From the time that I turned 14 I've had a job. I was not able to find one this past summer, I thought I'd go stir crazy! For the first little while, I really did. I was bored! I needed something to do, I needed to feel productive. I ended up becoming my house maid. I cleaned, cleaned, and cleaned some more. I had made a list of things I wanted to accomplish around the house and I was able to check them all off. Because I wasn't working, I was able to do more with my summer. I didn't have to worry about writing days off or rearranging my schedule. I went to all three nights of the Ute Stampede. I got to go to St. George two different times for different "Girl Trips". I got to go on all of our camping extravaganzas. I was free to do whatever, whenever.

Little victories make the world go round.

If we spend time focusing only on the big things, we forget to notice the small things. Working with the kids that I do, little victories are extraordinary. It should be like that for all kids. I spend a half hour each day in a general ed classroom and I have tried to pay close attention to the little victories in there as well. They are everywhere! And when kids and people in general know that what they are doing, small or large, is being notice/appreciated, then it becomes more and more worth the hard work. This has also helped me to notice the little things about myself. For so long, perfection is all that I have worked for. (I still am very anal so I won't say that I don't work for perfection anymore.) But now, I allow myself to see the small things along the way. For example, I had a huge project due at the end of this past semester. I was stressing so much about it, but at the end of each piece of the project, I took a step back and took it all in. It made the project much more enjoyable. I felt so much better about each individual piece which in turn made me feel better about the entire thing!

Apologize for stepping out of bounds.

I am not the type of person to let people get to me. And if I do, then I generally just complain for a second in my head and move on. I am embarrassed to admit, but one day my irritation made me "step out of bounds." As weird as it sounds, even though I felt way bad about it, I was almost ok for doing it. For quite a while I had been getting frustrated with this individual and the way they were treating some people. I really did feel sorry though because I was out of line, so afterward I made it a point to apologize. The individual claimed not to have noticed, but I am still glad that I apologized. As one sided as this may sound and as self conceded as it may be, I felt like the bigger person. After that day, I felt that I had more patience for what the individual was doing. I did not accept it in any way, but I realized that ignorance really is not bliss. This whole thing may not make any sense, but just go with it.

2011 had ups and downs. But in all, I learned a lot. The things written hear are only a few of the top lessons. To write all lessons learned, I may need a lot more space and then I'd feel bad for making you read all of my ramblings.

Thank-you 2011! Thank-you for the people that I have met, thank you for allowing me to slow down, thank-you for the lessons, experiences, and opportunities! You've been great, and you will be missed!